Oh, what a strange and dangerous side street our nation has taken on the 2024 road to the White House after Saturday’s attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump.
Since then, the national politicians and pundits have been out in force, calling for an end to violence as well as the nasty rhetoric that’s so sadly become the playbook for our democracy. Even some local officials, including the Kane County Sheriff’s Department and Kane County State’s Attorney’s Office, added their input, releasing statements meant to help bring back some form of sanity.
All appropriate. All necessary. All appreciated. But the best message I have heard so far came from the altar on Sunday morning, when my parish priest addressed this need to “end political division and hatred in our country.”
And he had a specific suggestion to those sitting in the pews of St. Gall Catholic Church: Stay off social media.
“The way not to respond” to the ugliness of the Pennsylvania shooting, Father Max Striedl said, “is by hopping on social media and participating in those discussions that tend to be so uncivil or divisive or just full of accusations and speculation.”
Some might say Father Max was preaching to the choir. But as we all know by now, there is nothing sacred – or united – about our state of the country right now. Within the first hour of the news hitting about the Pennsylvania shooting, social media was flooded with comments demonizing the opposing party. It was instant … it was ugly … it was business as usual in our land of the free and home of the brave.
On one side was the far right, declaring blood on the hands of Biden and the Democrats and the media for villainizing Trump to the point someone would want to literally put him in the bullseye. On the other side was the left, yapping about how the shooting was likely staged or how amusing it was that a Second Amendment supporter just barely dodged the bullet of an assault rifle.
After the initial shock wore off, however, most of us were focused on what this means for the future of this country that seems more uncivilized than at any time since the Civil War. Speaking of which, according to a recent Marist National Poll, a staggering 47% believe that’s where the nation is headed at some point in their lifetimes.
Experts tell us there are numerous reasons partisan vitriol has increased, leaving Americans with such a pessimistic view of this country’s future. As humans, we are not only wired to form groups, say psychologists, but we are programmed to develop irrational contempt for those not in our tribe.
Political candidates over the years have picked up on that resentment and anger. A poll this spring conducted by Georgetown Institute of Polices and Public Service shows half of Republicans and Democrats view the other party as a threat – for different reasons – and nearly as many agree with the description as the other party being evil.
Also noted: As our political parties move further apart ideologically, leaders in the center tend to get punished – which has resulted in the extremists wielding more power, more influence. And social media platforms then become the accelerant to the anger, bitterness and resentments stirred by savvy politicians.
More than ever, public discourse is less about reflection and more about finger-pointing, less about conversation and more about condemnation. It has become a battleground of “we” versus “them,” notes Eric Ward, executive director of Family Counseling Services and author of several books on building and maintaining relationships.
Ward describes himself as a staunch conservative who voted for Trump twice because of the former president’s policies but is “worried” about his agenda for a second term and the “cult-like following he’s amassed around him.” He’s also deeply concerned about Biden’s abilities to serve another four years, and described the recent debate between the two candidates as “wonderful … if you’re into comedy sketches.”
Like many of us, Ward has friends and loved ones on both ends of the political spectrum. The key to keeping positive relationships, he insists, is to approach conversations, whether online or in person, out of a need to know rather than a need to convince.
“I never argue with them. I am not here to win or change anyone’s mind. My approach is always that I’m insatiably curious. Walk me through your thoughts, your reasoning because I really do want to understand your side,” he told me.
Ward puts that challenge to the test every two weeks on his new podcast “PsycWard” that he’s co-hosting with Chicago mental health clinician Michael Lucas, who is as liberal as his friend of 25 years is conservative.
The podcast, while not necessarily political in nature, delves into the male role in today’s culture, and “what it means to be an authentic man,” noted Ward.
“The point is, how do we learn to manage our emotions, how can we be part of a discussion or debate without getting emotional,” he added. “It’s hard because a lot of this stuff touches on our base values. And we as humans are very protective of our values.”
Unfortunately all that emoting expressed on social media does not require faces or names. And most of those discussions, the experts point out, are controlled by automated systems designed to engage specific cognitive triggers and weak points meant to get your emotions going.
Which is why I believe my pastor had the perfect advice for those of us concerned about where this country is headed.
“if someone tries to go down that (negative) road with you when you are on social media,” said Father Max, “send them St. Francis’ peace prayer. Then just stop responding.”
Sitting in the third to back row I saw many heads nodding in agreement, which I chose to view as signs of hope. Then again, how much faith do we have this assassination attempt will be that wake-up call America so desperately needs?
One of my GOP friends hit the nail on the head when he said Democrats will look at this attempted assassination as a day of “luck” for Trump, while Republicans will describe the former president’s close brush with death as a “miracle.”
Unfortunately, it might just take both of the above if this country stands a prayer of a chance.
dcrosby@tribpub.com
