Category: Advice

Dear Eric: I’m a 78-year-old widow, who has been without a cat for one year now; first time in my life. Is it fair to adopt a cat if I most likely only have one and a half to two and a half more years to live? I do travel as well. I do not have any family, so who would get the cat remains unknown. Maybe back to the adoption group? Is this fair to the cat? I feel I’m being selfish, or is a little time “at home” for a cat better than none? Please advise.

Dear Eric: A lady I know does shopping for Instacart, and occasionally she will post on Facebook photos of homes she has delivered to, adding comments like “look at this cool home I delivered groceries to today!” Isn’t that a huge breach of privacy?

Dear Eric: I have tried a couple times after my daughter passed away to start writing thank-you cards to those who sent flowers, did food dropoffs and visited. But I end up hysterical and simply put it aside for another day. I have given a few cards to her best friends and thanked others via personal messages on social media.

Dear Eric: I’m a guy in my mid-60s, in relatively good health, but I’m fighting the whole getting older thing on a daily basis. I still want to hit the ball 250 yards every time and sexually knock it out of the park each time I get the chance (divorced and dating here). So, is this an OK “rage against the dying of the light” thing, or is this an older guy who refuses to accept aging gracefully and looks positively foolish to the rest of the world?

Dear Eric: The neighbors have a fenced-off yard and multiple dogs. Our property is not fenced, and we have no animals. For some reason, when the dogs need to do their business, the neighbors bring the dogs on leashes to our front yard. Their door is near our yard, but they have to walk through their own yard to reach ours.The neighbors clean up the solid messes, but we can’t figure out how our yard became the designated litter box. The dogs are not friendly, so they spend no other time on our property and would have no reason to be more comfortable here.

Dear Eric: I’ve been thinking about divorce for a while now, but I’m terrified of what it might do to our kids. I feel like my marriage is no longer working. My husband and I are no longer on the same page with what we want. But every time I think about taking the step to separate, I can’t shake the fear that the divorce process will have a lasting negative effect on my children.

Dear Eric: Almost eight months ago, we had an initial talk about expectations, compensation and it seemed like we were all on the same page ($50K+ plus some expenses for things like maternity clothes).

Dear Eric: My mother is 92 and lives alone in the Midwest; I’m here in Southern California. She lives around 18 miles from town on 65 acres. I phone her twice weekly and sometimes more often. After I retired, I asked her to move here and found a lovely place for her as she prefers her own space. She refused and I tried my best to offer all the reasons why it would be the best option. I visit her twice yearly and my sister and brother visit as well, but not as often. She doesn’t drive and thankfully my niece lives close to her, shops and helps her whenever my mom asks her for help.

Dear Eric: I worked in a mortuary/cemetery and was a licensed funeral director.

Your answer to “Resting Place”, who considered splitting her husband’s deceased wife’s remains among four urns for the children is perfect, emotionally. But, please let that family know they shouldn’t try to split the remains themselves. Cremated remains aren’t like in the movies and odds are if the family tries to split them themselves, they will end up with mom’s ashes all over the table/ground/and or themselves with no way to, respectfully, get them back where they belong. (I’ve heard lots and lots of stories.) If they take the urn to a licensed mortuary or crematory, a professional can handle it for them and spare them that trauma.

Dear Eric: Our youngest brother has made some poor decisions in his life, and he knows it. While he’s had a destructive life overall for more than 40 years, he is now a recovering addict but also has serious health concerns in his early 50s.