Q. My ex is impossible. Each time we go back to court, I hope for a different outcome, but nothing is ever changed. No one understands! How do you co-parent with someone you cannot agree with? What’s good ex-etiquette?
Dear Eric: My brother-in-law (never married, age 63) has been financially irresponsible as long as I’ve been married to his brother. He has accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debts. He currently has no addictions, no mental health issues, but lives with his mother who is aging but continues to pay for his necessities. He gives his money away and people take advantage of him. His parents have always bailed him out and feel like he’s a victim. He has had steady jobs over his lifetime and gone to college – many reasons why he should have savings for retirement.
Q. My ex and I split up six months ago and our children go back and forth between our new homes. We don’t have a formal parenting plan — the split was amicable; we just share the kids every few days. They are 5 and 7. It seems to be working OK, but I have recently met someone new. I am afraid this will complicate things, and their mother will not return the kids when I want them. What’s good ex-etiquette?
Dear Eric: The easy solution is to just not come back and not say anything. However, I believe I owe her more respect and appreciation than just ghosting her.
Q. My son is 9. His mother and I broke up a year and a half ago. Although we absolutely do not get along, we have been trying to share his time. We exchange every few days. Each time he has to leave my home, I see the happy little boy slip away. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want to go, but he can’t tell me why. I told his mother, but she doesn’t believe me. What’s good ex-etiquette?
Dear Eric: Any ideas on how to approach a bossy elder sibling? This isn’t the first time she has co-opted an event, and we’re tired of the drama.
Q. My fiancé has a 2-year-old son and due to alternate work schedules, the child spends the days with my fiance and then nights with his mother. His ex-wife uses his mother as the main babysitter, even asking grandma to watch the child at her house because she is now attending law school and won’t be home until after bedtime.
Dear Eric: I have a friend of about 10 years. We see each other three to four times a month. Frequently this is for a dog walk in a park or hiking trail. Also, we go to events, museums and dinner. My issue with my friend is that she frequently cancels at the last minute or is late. I am not that person. One could say I am a little OCD about timeliness and keeping my commitments.
Q. My breakup with my ex was messy, and I stayed away from dating for a couple of years. However, I’ve recently signed up on a dating app and I’ve started to date again. Unfortunately, the first question everyone wants to know is why did I break up with my ex. I don’t want to talk about it. He was abusive and almost killed me and he is now in prison.
Dear Eric: I told my husband I was done in our marriage during a marriage-counseling session close to nine months ago. This was our second round of marriage counseling. I have also done some therapy on my own. I have not taken any actions to indicate I’m done other than to occasionally remind my husband that I’m the one that wants out when he thinks things are harmonious.