Category: Advice

Asking Eric: Parents financially bailing out their 63-year-old child

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Dear Eric: My brother-in-law (never married, age 63) has been financially irresponsible as long as I’ve been married to his brother. He has accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debts. He currently has no addictions, no mental health issues, but lives with his mother who is aging but continues to pay for his necessities. He gives his money away and people take advantage of him. His parents have always bailed him out and feel like he’s a victim. He has had steady jobs over his lifetime and gone to college – many reasons why he should have savings for retirement.

Ex-etiquette: I met someone new

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Q. My ex and I split up six months ago and our children go back and forth between our new homes. We don’t have a formal parenting plan — the split was amicable; we just share the kids every few days. They are 5 and 7. It seems to be working OK, but I have recently met someone new. I am afraid this will complicate things, and their mother will not return the kids when I want them. What’s good ex-etiquette?

Ex-etiquette: Son doesn’t want to leave home

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Q. My son is 9. His mother and I broke up a year and a half ago. Although we absolutely do not get along, we have been trying to share his time. We exchange every few days. Each time he has to leave my home, I see the happy little boy slip away. Sometimes he tells me he doesn’t want to go, but he can’t tell me why. I told his mother, but she doesn’t believe me. What’s good ex-etiquette?

Ex-etiquette: I think my son is too young to go online. My ex disagrees.

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Q. My son’s father has only come back into our son’s life in the last year. Prior to that he lived in another state. Our son likes to talk to his friends in a social media chat room site, but I do not want him online unmonitored. I believe he is too young and when he does go online, I require him to give me all his passwords so I can monitor his activity. His father allows him to go online at his home without monitoring. I have told his father I do not agree with this, but he says at his age, our son needs his privacy. Our son is 11. What’s good ex-etiquette?