Category: Advice

Dear Eric: My brother passed in 2023. He was not married and had no children. He left an estate of $1.5 million. My two sisters and I split his estate equally and have finally closed the estate. From the start, my older sister’s husband protested that we should not split the estate equally. He says we should have split it to “level the retirement playing field.” In other words, I should have declined my inheritance to give my sisters a retirement financially equivalent to what my husband and I have.

Dear Eric: I lost my oldest, beautiful, intelligent daughter five years ago at 38 years young. She left behind two young sons and a spouse. Her death ultimately stemmed from alcoholism; however, she was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and eventually her body shut down organ by organ.

Dear Eric: I was raised that, when a friend suffered a loss, we would go to the house with food, flowers or just to offer our support. If the person was too far away, we’d call and send a card or flowers. Six months ago, my son died unexpectedly of a heart attack, and I’ve been dealing with unbearable grief while at the same time having to deal with his affairs mostly alone.

Dear Eric: I am heartbroken. I question everything about what I thought our relationship was given how unkind this decision was. Also, money or limits on the number of invites was not a factor in the decision.

Dear Eric: He’s gotten great work, won awards and become relatively famous. We’re so happy for him and remain close. He still uses the guest house when he’s in town. In our success fantasies for him, we never expected him to thank us from the awards stage or invite us to meet his new, famous friends. But the dynamics of our relationship have not changed at all. He still has never picked up a check or even offered to pay his share. If he needs something in the guest house, he asks us to buy it on our next grocery trip.

Dear Eric: I am struggling with a friend issue. We were roommates in the ’70s and have been friends ever since. She is 74 and I am 73. She is like an aunt to my two children. She was married once but has no children and has been divorced for decades. Other than her older brother, who is 80, she doesn’t really have any close family, although two nephews will inherit everything.

Dear Eric: What am I to do? Stay home and listen to the neighborhood dogs bark? This seems to be an addiction and a serious problem.

Dear Eric: One of my BFFs has high blood pressure and always seems to be catastrophizing about everything. I sent her an email which was meant to be compassionate and heartfelt and now she’s even catastrophizing my telling her all this. She feels I “crossed a line” with her and was too judgmental and she says she needs time to process what I told her. She’s a very active 78-year-old (and a therapist) and now I don’t know what to do.

Dear Eric: I have a one-year-old grandchild and am frustrated that I don’t have the freedom to gift them whatever I choose. The parents have prepared a precisely curated wish list of acceptable items and fully expect that I only give exact items from the list. I am not to stray from the brand, feature and even color of the item.

Dear Eric: My niece contacted me and said she was coming to a college reunion near me. She wondered if she and her family could stay at my home during the weekend. I was happy to have them, and they had a good time. My wife and I cooked several meals for them and loaned them a car. Their final evening, we all went out to dinner (six of them and two of us), and when the bill came it was placed on the table between my nephew and me. He never made a move, so I reached for it and paid for it all. He didn’t offer to share and, in not doing so, didn’t even give me the chance to express my generosity and say, “I’ve got it.” I felt disappointed and used. How would you have handled this?