Dear Eric: I learned a week after he passed that while we were a couple he had another current girlfriend and several more partners. His best friend confided afterwards that I was his main relationship, his emotional connection to me was authentic, but monogamy was never a goal of his.
Dear Eric: I just read the letter from “Sunny Side,” whose mother called multiple times a day with anxieties and would call Sunny Side’s friends if she didn’t pick up. My husband and I have been in a similar situation with an older relative. What I would suggest is to set up a time each day that she and her mom will talk, say every day at 7 p.m. (or whenever it’s convenient). That way Sunny Side knows when to mentally prepare herself for the call, and her mom knows when she will for sure be able to reach her.
Dear Eric: I enjoy your advice newspaper column a lot. Thank you. I’m writing to comment on the common wording people, including you, use when someone feels hurt by something someone says or does. As a psychotherapist, my perspective is that it is codependent to believe that someone “hurt your feelings.” I believe that it is more accurate and less critical to respond with, “I felt hurt by what you said / did.” Part of the therapy world is learning about communicating with “I” statements vs “you” statements. “I” statements are usually better received than “you” statements and tend to make the receiver feel less criticized and therefore less defensive in response.
Dear Eric: We live on a lake and love hosting our great-nieces and nephews on school breaks and the entire family on vacations. My husband and I have no children. Our niece’s families are dear to us.
Dear Eric: I am trying to divorce my spouse, but he is using suicidal ideation to get out of the responsibility. He was disappointed to receive my divorce petition. He contacted a bunch of people via text that day and got taken to the hospital by the police, who did a welfare check. He stayed there for three weeks.
Dear Eric: I have two brothers that have recently failed to send a birthday gift or even a card to my 12-year-old daughter. My wife and I on the other hand always send birthday gifts or money and a card to their kids, our nieces and nephews.
Dear Eric: Several months ago, I saw a part-time position I wanted to apply for. I would also be able to keep a job I currently have if selected for the new position.
Dear Eric: My husband and I have just returned from a driving trip in the Southwest. Several days ago, he was standing in a fast-food line when another man started a conversation with him. When the man asked, “where is home for you?” My husband responded by saying “Los Angeles.” The other man said, “I’m so sorry for you.”
Dear Eric: My friend has been totally engrossed with messaging celebrities through Telegram. So far, she has been in contact with four musicians. Two of the four have promised to come visit with her.
Dear Eric: My sister-in-law is one of the kindest and most giving people I know. She volunteers at her church, at our local YMCA and at our golf club. She has driven friends several states away for medical treatments.