Category: Asking Eric

Dear Eric: What am I to do? Stay home and listen to the neighborhood dogs bark? This seems to be an addiction and a serious problem.

Dear Eric: One of my BFFs has high blood pressure and always seems to be catastrophizing about everything. I sent her an email which was meant to be compassionate and heartfelt and now she’s even catastrophizing my telling her all this. She feels I “crossed a line” with her and was too judgmental and she says she needs time to process what I told her. She’s a very active 78-year-old (and a therapist) and now I don’t know what to do.

Dear Eric: I have a one-year-old grandchild and am frustrated that I don’t have the freedom to gift them whatever I choose. The parents have prepared a precisely curated wish list of acceptable items and fully expect that I only give exact items from the list. I am not to stray from the brand, feature and even color of the item.

Dear Eric: My niece contacted me and said she was coming to a college reunion near me. She wondered if she and her family could stay at my home during the weekend. I was happy to have them, and they had a good time. My wife and I cooked several meals for them and loaned them a car. Their final evening, we all went out to dinner (six of them and two of us), and when the bill came it was placed on the table between my nephew and me. He never made a move, so I reached for it and paid for it all. He didn’t offer to share and, in not doing so, didn’t even give me the chance to express my generosity and say, “I’ve got it.” I felt disappointed and used. How would you have handled this?

Dear Eric: Two weeks ago, we interred my mother’s ashes in a small ceremony in Panama where she was born and raised. An alcoholic, my mother was highly abusive, both psychologically and physically. As adults, despite repeated requests from me and my brothers, my mother refused to acknowledge her abuse.

Dear Eric: My sisters-in-law think I’m gay. I know for a fact they have talked with my brothers about sexual attraction. Unfortunately, I have a real rough past with people making fun of me because I had a learning disability. The whole community put me down. I never tried dating in high school or after. I’m sexually attracted to women and would like to have a relationship with a woman. I have not had any luck with online dating. I’m afraid that my sisters-in-law will make the woman feel uncomfortable with me or my family. I have spoken to my brothers about their behavior, and they seem to not understand or go around it. I’m not sure what to do or how to handle my problem.

Dear Eric: I have had the same dentist for the past 15 years. Within the last year, I have found myself wanting to know him on a personal level. I know he is not involved in a relationship, and he seems interested as well. How should I proceed?

Dear Eric: As adults, I end up picking up the slack just like when we were kids. I also manage all of our bills. She is completely in the dark about how any of our finances work, and my attempts to get her more involved haven’t stuck. In another living situation, she’d be incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of, potentially paying more than her fair share simply because she doesn’t know any better.

Dear Eric: We have two nephews, 17 and 21, and felt it was time to teach them money management skills and saving for retirement. At Thanksgiving, we funded two brokerage accounts for each – a $7,000 Roth IRA and $3,000 brokerage. We also gave two books on long-term investing.

Dear Eric: One of my best friends is a woman I introduced to my boyfriend’s brother. They married last October after knowing each other for about six months. My friend often confides in me about what’s happening in the marriage. She is sensitive about her husband’s relationship with his ex-wife and told him that he should only communicate with the ex-wife about their daughter.