There probably will come a day when AI takes over sports writing and computer-generated stories are the norm.
But as long as humans still write on tight deadlines that get earlier by the day, we’ll continue to crank out random observations and opinions that may or may not be relevant to your interests as a sports fan.
In other words, generate this, AI.
Who’s next?
Manager Pedro Grifol might make it through the rest of the season in spite of the White Sox’s pitiful record because no one can fix this team. But Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf eventually will be forced to make a change, if only to persuade Sox fans to come back to the ballpark.
Miami Marlins manager Skip Schumaker, who was mentored by former Sox manager and current adviser Tony La Russa, is someone to keep an eye on. Schumaker’s 2025 option was voided over the winter at his request, according to the Miami Herald, making him a free agent after this season.
Schumaker took the Marlins to the postseason in 2023 and was named National League Manager of the Year. But they forced out general manager Kim Ng and didn’t add much in the offseason before starting off slow and dealing star infielder Luis Arráez to the San Diego Padres last month to start the inevitable sell-off.
Like free-agent manager Craig Counsell last November, Schumaker will be highly coveted. And to paraphrase an infamous remark Reinsdorf uttered to sports writer Toni Ginnetti after the “White Flag Trade” of 1997, anyone who thinks La Russa won’t have a big say in choosing the next Sox manager is crazy.
Ángel vs. Mongo
Umpire Ángel Hernández’s sudden retirement resurrected his famous ejection of Bears Hall of Famer Steve McMichael during a Cubs game against the Colorado Rockies on Aug. 7, 2001, at Wrigley Field.
Before singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” in the TV booth, McMichael famously took the mic and berated Hernández for earlier ruling the Cubs’ Ron Coomer out at home plate in the sixth inning after Coomer attempted to score on a wild pitch.
McMichael said he and the ump would “have some speaks,” inciting the crowd even further. Hernández stared at McMichael and jerked his thumb in the air, which was interpreted as the first (and last) ejection of a seventh-inning stretch singer.
Cubs marketing vice president John McDonough told the Tribune’s Fred Mitchell the next day that the team “complied immediately, as we would with any umpire’s request.” McDonough called McMichael’s taunting “regrettable” and said GM Andy MacPhail had apologized to the umpires. Manager Don Baylor falsely claimed a forfeit was a possibility.
McMichael apologized later and said: “It was all for giggles. You know me and my sarcastic humor. If somebody takes it personally, I’m sorry.”
Moral of the story: Mongo recognized an umpire’s incompetence long before MLB finally woke up to the fact.
Glove story
On May 8, 2012, Cubs reliever Kerry Wood served up a game-winning, two-run single to Dan Uggla in the eighth inning of a 3-1 loss to the Atlanta Braves at Wrigley Field. Wood then tossed his glove and cap into the box seats behind the Cubs dugout.
When I asked Wood after the game why he threw his glove into the stands, he glared at me and replied: “That’s irrelevant, dude.” (For the rest of the 2012 season, I was referred to by fellow writers as “the Irrelevant Dude.”)
Manager Dale Sveum shrugged off the glove-tossing controversy the next day when asked if he cared about Wood’s reaction.
“Of course I care,” Sveum said. “I don’t condone it or wish it to happen all the time. But we all know in this game that there are frustrations that happen and sometimes we regret things we do. We’re not perfect human beings.”
On Wednesday at Citi Field, New York Mets reliever Jorge López walked off the field after a poor outing and tossed his glove into the stands. Unlike Wood, López was chastised by management and designated for assignment the next day.
“We have standards here,” Mets manager Carlos Mendoza said. “When you’re not playing well, guys will show emotions. There’s frustrations, but there’s a fine line and yesterday went over that line.”
Too bad for López. You played in the wrong era, dude.
It’s the Hard Knock Life
The Bears will venture into the world of reality TV with their appearance on “Hard Knocks,” which could be just the kind of infomercial they desperately need to promote the idea of public funding for their proposed stadium in a Soldier Field parking lot. No doubt President and CEO Kevin Warren is salivating at the opportunity to be seen and heard.
Unfortunately for the Bears, the Illinois legislature punted on any stadium debate during the spring session, leaving it for the fall veto session, when a three-fifths majority is necessary to pass any legislation.
Yep, it’s the hard knock life fur youse, McCaskeys.
High praise for Bill Walton
All the tributes to former basketball great Bill Walton, who died Monday from cancer at 71, tiptoed around his reputation as a legendary stoner.
They called him “counterculture,” “a Deadhead” and “chronic fun-seeker” but ignored the obvious fact he enjoyed partaking from time to time. Walton didn’t just play a stoner on TV, he walked the walk, calling for the legalization of marijuana during an ESPN broadcast in 2015.
If there was a Stoner Hall of Fame for professional athletes, Walton would be a first-ballot selection, along with former NFL star Ricky Williams and former pitcher Bill Lee.
Breaking Bad
Former Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris Davis finished with a .168 average in 2018, the lowest in major-league history among qualified position players. In the third year of a disastrous seven-year, $161 million deal, Davis’ slash line was an abysmal .168/.243/.296.
Current White Sox catcher Martín Maldonado, meanwhile, began the weekend hitting .081 — the worst in the majors of players with 90 or more plate appearances. His slash line entering Friday was .081/.182/.128, and his minus-1.5 fWAR was second-lowest to teammate Andrew Benintendi’s minus-1.7.
But there’s hope Maldonado will bust out of his slump. Former Sox shortstop Royce Clayton, also a defensive specialist, was hitting .099 on May 29, 2001, when a single put him over the .100 mark. Observant Sox fans chanted “MVP! MVP!” as Clayton ran to first, angering some of his teammates. Ray Durham called Sox fans “childish.”
Clayton wound up hitting a respectable .263 and continued to play solid defense.
Even if he doesn’t turn it around like Clayton in 2001, Maldonado probably won’t get enough plate appearances to break Davis’ dubious record. Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Randy Arozarena (.159) and Seattle Mariners catcher Mitch Garver (.166) are neck and neck for that honor.
Future shock
With Negro League stats becoming official and upending baseball’s record books, it should be noted that Pete Rose, the all-time hits leader with 4,256, could lose his crown if Nippon Professional Baseball someday gets acknowledged as a major league.
At that point, Ichiro Suzuki would become the new hit king with 4,367, including his 1,278 hits in Japan, while former Japanese slugger Sadaharu Oh would become the all-time home run leader with 868, surpassing Barry Bonds’ 762.
Perhaps Shohei Ohtani will surpass Oh before NPB is officially ruled a major league, making that irrelevant, dude.
