Drama, excitement, bewilderment, confusion, the 2024 Olympics opening ceremony had it all. What must be the most-hyped, almost-sporting event of the year turned out to be the most bizarre curtain-raiser in living memory.
As someone who has visited Paris many times, I was excited to learn the city was going to be front and center throughout the games. What could be better than watching volleyball under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower or cyclists racing along boulevards and across bridges? When I heard the parade of nations was going to take place on boats along the Seine, I thought it would make an interesting change from the standard hours of flag-waving athletes marching into an arena.
I was wrong.
What it actually looked like was hordes of tourists taking selfies as they cruised along the river in the rain. There was nothing to be done about the weather, but covering the American athletes’ Ralph Lauren uniforms in what looked like clear plastic bags did nothing to enhance their look.
As it turned out, that wasn’t the worst of it. The artistic and sometimes even humorous displays and performances held in stadiums in the past looked, if you pardon the pun, watered down and often just plain weird as the athletic tourists sailed past. The fact that so much was filmed in advance was both a good thing in light of the weather and bad because the vignettes appeared disjointed.
Since NBC had been promoting the Olympics in earnest for weeks, I was expecting their commentators to have done a better job. Much as I like Kelly Clarkson, who for a singer does a fine job as a chat show host, she added nothing to the event. Even when Celine Dion sang at the end, in my opinion the highlight of an otherwise disappointing evening, she couldn’t comment because she was crying.
As the games progress, it seems that NBC has brought every one of their personalities to Paris. Is this really coverage of the year’s most important sporting event or a two-week promo for the only TV network with the rights to broadcast it live? I was really beginning to wonder why Snoop Dogg was making more appearances than the U.S. flag until I saw he’s going to be a judge on the next season of “The Voice.”
There were other things about the opening ceremony that I found impossible to rationalize. Did you see the floating piano? At first I thought a pile of garbage had caught fire and broken away from the land.
On investigation, it appears it was deliberately set ablaze. And if anyone can tell me the connection between John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s “Imagine” and a burning piano is, I’d love to hear it. The dulcet tones of singer Juliette Armanet may have been beautiful, but I couldn’t help but fear she might need to be doused by a fire hose before she finished.
The whole thing seemed a little creepy. From headless Marie Antoinettes to burning buildings and masked runners, it felt more like the opening credits of a horror movie than a celebration of the world’s greatest athletes. As for the masked man of the Apocalypse riding the mechanical horse down the river, I’m still wondering if he’s going to compete in the show jumping competition.
Before long, I couldn’t help but think that if we ever held the Olympics here in Naperville, we’d do a much better job. The opening ceremony could be held at North Central College’s Benedetti-Wehrli Stadium and even if we had athletes sailing down the DuPage River, at least they could show off their athletic prowess by pedaling pedalos or rowing kayaks.
And how great would the Millennium Carillon look covered in sparkly lights and the Olympic rings dangling across the center? We already have places along the Riverwalk for volleyball and skateboarding, and how picturesque would the diving and swimming events be at Centennial Beach?
The lighting of the Olympic cauldron is the culmination of any opening ceremony. In Paris dozens of medalists passed the torch from one to another before it eventually lighting a tethered hot air balloon that floated above the city.
In Naperville we have our own very special gold medalist who would be perfect for the job. Figure skater Evan Lysacek won the hearts of the nation in 2010 as he skated to Olympic glory in the Vancouver winter games. I could certainly see him lighting the flame atop the Dandelion fountain in the center of downtown Naperville.
I’m sure our local station NCTV17 would do a better job than NBC seems to be doing, and while it’s possible we couldn’t top Lady Gaga’s performance as a French hen, I’m sure the Naperville Municipal Band would do us proud.
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved to Naperville from England in 2007. She can be reached at hilarydecent@gmail.com.
