It was the wording in text messages that had Frankfort resident and mom Shannon Delgado thinking that something was off with her ex-husband, Raymond Brown.
“I was chalking it up to spell-check or talk-to-texts doing something wrong, because it was like one or two words that didn’t make sense, but I could still see what he was trying to say,” Delgado said. “It would be like: ‘Do you need me to pick the kids up for their situations?’ Not ‘Do you need me to pick Henry up from football?’ It was a strange way of putting things.”
Delgado, who has four children with Brown, thought perhaps Brown had had a stroke. The couple had married in 2007, separated in 2017 and divorced in 2019. She kept telling Brown that something was wrong and he should get checked at the hospital.
Delgado reached out to Brown’s siblings in hopes that they could coax him to seek medical help. Three days later, Brown’s brother took him to an emergency room where a CT scan found a mass about the size of a walnut in the left frontal lobe of his brain.
His diagnosis in September 2023: Grade 4 glioblastoma. Brown had brain surgery followed by radiation treatment. But Delgado, a lifelong educator now teaching at the College of DuPage, said the surgery could remove only about 80% of the tumor, and the 20% that remains is still growing given the aggressiveness of the cancer.
“He’s getting more deficits. … The doctors are telling me more deficits are a sign the cancer is spreading,” she said.
With no one nearby who could care for Brown, an Elmhurst native, Delgado moved him into her new home with her new spouse and mixed family. They all help care for Brown. “He didn’t have anybody else and whether we got along or not, he was an amazing father and still is,” she said. “And because of that, I’m doing what I’m doing, because I want my kids to have every last minute of quality time that they can have with him while he’s still here.”
That’s why when Delgado came across Dove’s Nest — a retreat in Rome, Wisconsin, that caters to people with life-threatening illnesses and their loved ones — she gathered the family and headed northwest in June. It was a weeklong break from doctors’ appointments and phone calls with the insurance company so the family could just spend time together, build memories, take pictures and bask in nature along Lake Camelot.
The cabin, about three and a half hours from Chicago, is accessible for those in wheelchairs and offers “lake life” amenities such as access to a pontoon boat, paddleboarding, kayaking, barbecuing and making s’mores. And it’s all free.
Gas is provided for the boats, the equipment is maintained and coupons for pizza are provided. Visitors to Dove’s Nest just bring whatever food they may need for their stay. The respite program requires an application that includes a sign-off from the patient’s physician. Regardless of age, the patient must be undergoing treatment, have been in treatment within the past year, or under hospice care for a life-threatening illness.
Dove’s Nest was created by Alex C. Dove, a young man who died in 2019 after a three-year battle with glioblastoma. Chad Dove, Alex’s father, said the idea came about when family members were enjoying themselves at their cabin in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. “That was Labor Day weekend of 2018,” he said. “(Alex) said one of his friends’ parents could help us get a foundation going.”
By November 2018, Alex Dove’s namesake foundation, which raises funds and manages the cabin, was active. The day after Alex died in March 2019, funds began pouring in without solicitation.
“It was quite unbelievable,” said Chad Dove, a native of Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. “The word spread about what Alex was setting up and we had all these people, businesses, families, running their own one-day charity events to help us raise money.
By July 2019, the foundation had enough money for a down payment on a lake home. When the Doves saw the listing for the Rome cabin, they knew right away it was the perfect place. “We were all like, ‘This is exactly what Alex would pick out,’” Chad Dove said.
Having celebrated the fifth fundraiser, which covers the cabin’s expenses for the year, on May 18, Chad Dove is looking to get more families into Dove’s Nest. He said last winter was the first time guests checked in and he knows there are thousands of people who could be using it.
“We are open year-round,” he said. “Everybody wants to come in the summer. And unfortunately, there were people that would book it six, seven, eight months out and some of them never made it because they passed away. I know from personal experience … you take advantage of going somewhere when you can, not when you think it’s super sunny and it’ll be great being on the water. That’s awesome. But if you can’t make it, it doesn’t matter.”
Megan Bergum can relate. Her son Braiden was diagnosed with astrocytoma, a brain cancer, in July 2022 at age 21. Bergum’s aunt Jen Willing told her about Dove’s Nest, and the Evansville, Wisconsin, family stayed at the cabin for a week in August 2023. Bergum had lost her mother to lung cancer a week after Braiden had brain surgery.
“I appreciate that she found it,” Bergum said of her aunt. “Before Braiden’s diagnosis, we were really caught up in the hustle and bustle. … When Braiden was diagnosed, it helped us pause and think we really do need to take time for each other.”
Bergum said Chad Dove and the people at the foundation treated her like family.
“There were hammocks and swings and games galore,” she said. “And so many water activities: We could paddleboard or kayak. There was a beautiful pontoon boat that we were able to tootle around on the lake with.”
Bergum said the environment was carefree and provided a gathering space big enough for the family, siblings, grandkids and girlfriends to be together. “The focus was truly celebrating each other,” she said. “We had dinners together, the kids slept in, Braiden got some extra tickles from his siblings. He definitely soaked that up. We all learned to crochet together out on the patio in the sun. … It truly is a memory that we are going to hold onto and cherish forever.”
Delgado said her former husband spent a lot of time sitting and relaxing by the water, near the firepit and watching the children play in the sand. Without any expressive or receptive language, it’s hard for Brown to communicate what he wants or needs, she said. But when he was on the boat with the family at Dove’s Nest, she said you could see the joy in his face.
“Given a prognosis of 12 to 18 months last September and him having a pretty huge regression within the last six to eight weeks with his language and everything, it has been really hard for (the children),” she said. “But just hanging out on the boat, hanging out by the water, roasting marshmallows, barbecuing, just getting away from that day to day … it was great to enjoy that.”
She’s already shared the Dove’s Nest experience with a variety of cancer support groups.
“I think everyone that is diagnosed with a glioblastoma should experience this because I know how hard it is to care for someone. It’s mentally, physically and emotionally stressful,” she said. “And for me, as a caregiver, it was respite. For him, as the one living with cancer, it was respite. And for my kids, having me not to be there because I’m running Dad around, it was respite.”
Delgado said the retreat being free was key. “With doctor bills and everything else, vacation is just not something that we can afford; and for this to be free — everyone should have the opportunity to have this experience,” she said. “We’re hoping to get another Christmas with him. My fingers are crossed to get one more Christmas.”
