Porter-Starke Services celebrated its 50th anniversary in Northwest Indiana with a little S.P.A.R.K. Thursday afternoon in a full Porter County Expo Center ballroom.
The annual Living Health Balance Hope Symposium reminds people of the provider’s six areas of care and offers up a keynote speaker to inspire attendees. Indiana State Representative Julie Olthoff, R-Crown Point, awarded Porter-Starke with a resolution acknowledging its work at 11 locations in the areas of mental health, substance use, crisis care, primary care, community-based services, and education and engagement since 1975.
Porter-Starke President and CEO Matthew Burden said it was a privilege for those in his organization to do this work. “Everyone has a reason for doing it,” he said, “even if it’s ‘I just want to help people.’”
The audience was made up of a variety of stakeholders, from physicians to business leaders to lawmakers such as Indiana State Sen. Ed Charbonneau, R-Valparaiso. It may be the therapists in the audience who can go out and spread the interpersonal philosophy of keynote speaker and couples therapist Zach Brittle the farthest.
He put a spotlight on ways to take the boredom out of long-term romantic relationships with tips that can be applied to non-romantic interactions as well. Brittle opened his remarks with the admission that his own relationship challenges have made him a better therapist.
“There was a period in my life when my wife used to say, ‘I feel like I have three children,’” he said. With a jokey, conversational style he told the audience they need three skills to improve interpersonal relationships: curiosity, putting a positive spin on everything, and always looking to move along a continuum of improvement rather than seeking perfection.
“We’ve gotten really bad at being curious,” he said. “People get into trouble because they stop thinking their partner can surprise them anymore. What you want to do is get to the point where you say, ‘Huh, I did not see that coming.’”
He also advises replacing “but” with “and” to kill negative vibes and keep things positive. He used a tenet from the art of improvisation where performers say, “Yes, and…” “It invites us to keep this thing going,” Brittle said, and ultimately that’s the goal with keeping relationships fresh.
A finite outlook leads to boredom while an infinitely seeking, curious outlook about others prolongs discovery of others and keeps it at bay.
Brittle’s S.P.A.R.K. acronym stands for surprise, play, ask, repair, and kiss. “If you do this you’ll feel closer on Monday than you did on Friday,” he said. “By the way, you don’t have to let your partner know you’re doing this.”
Shelley Jones is a freelance reporter for the Post-Tribune.