In Stephen Colbert’s world, the rumored musical guest on the last night of the Democratic National Convention wasn’t Beyoncé or Taylor Swift, but the 1985 Chicago Bears.
“We are the Bears. Kamala crew,” the jingle from the Super Bowl-winning team began. “Celebrating your nominee with you. She and Coach Walz sure do mesh. And we love her husband — Dougie fresh.”
“Governor Walz, he’s no slouch, plus he never banged a couch,” the song continues. “That story’s not true says Vance’s staff. But we don’t care ’cause it makes us laugh.”
“We got to go now back to the ’80s, why’s it taking so long to elect a lady,” to close off.
The song, “Do the Kamala Shuffle,” put new words to vintage video to open the Thursday episode of the “Late Show” at the Auditorium Theatre, Colbert’s fourth and final broadcast in Chicago during the DNC. The show included an interview with Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and a performance of “Freedom Highway” from Chicago native Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy, after Kamala Harris’s primetime acceptance speech wrapped up a few miles away at the United Center.
Colbert traveled to Wrigley Field in a pre-recorded segment, where he dangled hot dogs and (non-alcoholic) beers over Cubs fans, handing it off to some with a fishing pole, and took off his pants inside the historic manual scoreboard. He also sang “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the seventh-inning stretch last Friday, asking for singing tips from Chicago native Jennifer Hudson.
“Don’t talk at it, become it. You sing real passionate, that’s what I like about you,” Hudson said. “Look, so put your real emotion in it. You got to really own it, you gotta really mean it.”
Colbert also tossed baseballs around with a few players, including pitcher Jameson Taillon. When Taillon said “Chicago has a lot of great things” but New York has better pizza, Colbert walked off the field. He also questioned where second baseman Nico Hoerner’s relationship was going — “hopefully past second base,” Hoerner said — and zoomed in on Ian Happ’s “dump truck.”
On the final night of the DNC, Colbert highlighted moments from Harris’s speech, including her comments about fighting injustice, putting the country above her party and herself and the anniversary shout-out to her husband — “I’m sorry she didn’t have a gift for you tonight, Doug. But if you wait a couple months she might get you a new house,” Colbert said.
Taking a serious tone, Colbert mentioned the first political convention in Chicago in 1860, when the Republicans nominated Abraham Lincoln and “saved the Republic.”
“And once again we’re in a time of division and a time of crisis, Chicago has got to give us the president again. They’ve got to do it again,” he said. “Now, here’s the thing. I know that that is a lot to put on the shoulders of one city, but we know one thing about Chicago, her shoulders are strong.”
Unlike the previous three “Late Shows” on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday night’s broadcast wrapped up right at midnight.