Grocery shopping has become a dive into demoralization.
“Should we try self-checkout?” I asked my husband, in that hopeful way people of a certain age try to be.
He quickly grabbed my arm, “No. We can’t. We have fruit.”
I immediately pivoted for the long line with a real cashier.
Fruit. Vegetables. Coupons. Liquor. All of them are sure to trigger that smug annoying voice that alerts the world you have user issues. A brush with self-checkout is a brush with humiliation.
I know there are people who embrace this fresh hell. They love the independence, the privacy and the opportunity to place the bread on top of the canned goods in the bag.
I get it. But I’m starting to wonder if all of them didn’t once work as a cashier.
I hate it. Not because I’m a chatty Cathy who longs to tell a cashier what I’m making for dinner. Not because I’m uncoordinated and can’t keep a reusable bag from falling off that teeny tiny ledge. And not because I’m old. Although all of the aforementioned apply.
Remember when checking out at the grocery store was a relatively easy process in which all you had to do was hand the clerk your coupons and credit card while someone else bagged your purchases? (Tribune Content)
I hate self-checkout because I’m tired of trips to the grocery store leaving me exhausted, vengeful and hating the voice behind “Unexpected item in the bagging area” as much as I hate her tele-cousin who admonishes you with, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Tell me, in your own words, the reason for your call.”
It’s hard enough to manage supermarket “app”lication shenanigans. Like their self-checkout machines, each store’s app is different.
I don’t want this many buttons on my phone. I don’t want to spend this much time figuring out the setup or perusing sales or clipping a virtual coupon. I don’t want treasure-hunting shopping to be a full-time job.
But I also don’t want to spend more money than I have to.
Why isn’t loyalty enough? If we’re already in a store’s computer system, why can’t the discounts be automatically applied? Why do we have to spend hours (days?) scrolling endless lists of products? This phenomenon has created store roadblocks as shopping zombies, fixated on their screens, stall in front of freezer section doors or in cereal aisles as they search their phones, navigating online sales.
I know, grocery stores are more convenient than, oh, growing all your own produce, milling all your own flour and butchering all your own meat.
But isn’t it enough that we have to take items off shelves, place them in carts, take them out of carts, place them in bags, place the bags in the car, carry it all into the kitchen, unpack everything and put it all away? Piling on hours of phone work leaves us even more exhausted.
Isn’t it enough that we never truly feel confident that we are getting the best price for anything?
Isn’t it enough that we choose your store in the first place? Can you at east install a hassle-free exit plan for us?
Yes, yes, I realize these are first-world problems but I am also old enough to remember when customer service was a real, even ubiquitous, thing. How much I miss truly helpful workers.
Besides, it’s not like any of us are getting a discount for doing the work of a cashier and bagger.
I don’t need a support group to back me on this, but recent surveys show I am hardly alone.
While people continue to use self-checkout — hope springs eternal — many say they do not like the machines. There are too many glitches, each store’s mechanics are different, there’s not enough bagging space, germs are a concern and no one feels good being told to “wait for assistance.”
A recent article in The Atlantic called self-checkout “a failed experiment.” Target recently limited the lanes to 10 items or less. After a recent computer debacle, Walmart pulled the machines from some locations. And Dollar General appears to have thrown in the receipt on the concept all together.
The reasons? Mostly increasing theft but I suspect there are as many complaints as losses. Plus, who feels good about displacing workers?
Supermarket shopping has become a dread. It’s too complicated and too cumbersome.
Need a model for what consumers do want? I have a dream scenario: The produce selection of Whole Foods with the meat cooler of Jack & Pat’s, the bakery of Jewel, the staples variety of Mariano’s, the discounts of Meijer, the free samples of Costco, the friendly checkout faces of Trader Joe’s and the boxed cereal prices of Menards.
Ping me when there’s an app for that.
Donna Vickroy is an award-winning reporter, editor and columnist who worked for the Daily Southtown for 38 years. She can be reached at donnavickroy4@gmail.com.
