As the son of a sharecropper growing up in Gilbert, Louisiana, I learned very important life lessons from my mother and father that shaped me into the man I am today.
With the celebration of Father’s Day on Sunday, I will share some timeless universal values that my father taught me.
I grew up in a big family that was one generation removed from slavery. I attended school 2 ½ months out of the year. I grew up during the time of Jim Crow in which laws institutionalized white supremacy and Black inferiority. The U.S. Supreme Court, in the 1896 landmark case of Plessy v. Ferguson, upheld the legal doctrine of “separate but equal” concerning accommodations for Black Americans. Schools were legally segregated until 1954, when the Supreme Court in Brown v. Board of Education declared state-sponsored segregation of public schools unconstitutional.
It was not until the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 that the remaining Jim Crow laws were overturned. In my condo, I have a picture of “colored only” and “whites only” bathroom signs as a reminder of how far we have come.
In spite of all of the hate and attempts to keep Black people subjugated, my father and mother taught me to love and respect everyone regardless of color. Dad taught us to respect our elders and work hard. My father was in the field working seven days a week. He was the provider and foundation of our family — while my mother was the nurturer. The value of love informs my business decisions, charitable giving and interactions with my fellow citizens.
Love is a transformative force that is largely missing in our society. There are different levels of love: eros, which is romantic, and philia, which is brotherly love. The type of love my mom taught me is agape — universal love for everyone. Clearly, our city and nation suffer from a love deficit. Our national government discourse is void of civility, respect and love. My father taught me that it is not about Democrat, Republican or independent — it is about serving people and civility.
I was fortunate to have both parents. Today, only about one-third of Black children live with married birth parents, whereas 81% of Asian children, 70% of white children and 55% of Latino children live with married birth parents, according to the Institute for Family Studies. A report by the institute found that “strong families are associated with less crime in cities across the United States, as well (as) in neighborhoods across Chicago.”
In addition to love, my mother and father taught me to have faith, persistence and a good work ethic. At age 13, with a seventh grade formal education, I dropped out of school and ran away from home. I did not know how I was going to make it, but I knew I had to leave Louisiana. My employment life began in Louisiana, where I made 20 cents an hour picking cotton and cutting sugarcane. In Delray Beach and Mexico Beach, Florida, I worked in the fields picking butter beans and tomatoes making one dollar per hour.
In 1965, I moved to Chicago’s West Side with my aunt. When I arrived in the city, I was amazed by the number of Black-owned businesses and opportunities. It was a far cry from the South. Eventually, I would flip burgers and mop floors at McDonald’s and work my way up to manager. I worked five years without a day off and learned how to run a business.
My parents’ advice about love, faith, a good work ethic and persistence propelled me to own my first McDonald’s restaurant. The late CEO of McDonald’s, Ray Kroc, gave me an opportunity to become one of the first black owners of a McDonald’s restaurant. I did not have the capital, but Kroc helped me. Through hard work, perseverance and God’s favor, I would go on to own five McDonald’s restaurants.
The restaurants afforded me the opportunity to hire people from the neighborhood and give back to the community. Additionally, I was in a position to support my family and children. Opportunity allows us to have hope, something too many communities have lost. In Louisiana when I was a child, children shooting other children was unprecedented. We did not have locks on our door. The children buried the parents, unlike today, when parents are burying their children. I buried a 20-year-old son who was killed by gun violence.
The following are a few suggestions for fathers and elected leaders:
- Introduce your children to the church. The church teaches the love of God and each other. The power of love transforms trauma and uplifts communities.
- Federal, state and local governments should improve the economic conditions in distressed communities by prioritizing unemployed fathers for trade opportunities and other jobs. A job gives a man dignity, purpose and hope for a better life.
- Faith leaders should engage in strategies to strengthen the family and help absent fathers reconnect with their children.
As we celebrate Father’s Day, I cherish the lessons my father taught me. I am hopeful that as men, we will recommit ourselves to support God and our families. In the Christian faith, the Lord’s Prayer begins, “Our Father” — it is an acknowledgement of the father of all creation. The father is our greatest source of strength, protection, provision, wisdom and forgiveness.
I write this commentary to make those comfortable with being absent fathers uncomfortable.
Willie Wilson is a business owner, philanthropist and former mayoral candidate.
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